Moments
by prothalla
Summary: Carol makes a discovery that could change her and Tony's lives forever
1. Chapter 1

Carol woke suddenly and for a second she didn't know where she was until the contents of her room began to focus. She was covered in the woven throw that her grandmother had made for her first birthday; there was something about the blanket that always made her feel safe. Glancing at the clock she saw that it was just after 5 in the morning. Her alarm was set to go off in half an hour. Today was the first in a week in which she had slept alone. Since the scare with his brain tumour the pair had decided to not waste anymore time. They had been in a relationship for a little over six months now. Not seeing the point of prolonging the day any further Carol sat up, pushing the covers to the side she climbed out of bed and padded across the floor to the bathroom. Turning on the shower faucets she let steam fill the room before jumping under the hot spray. After washing her hair Carol stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around herself she grabbed a second towel and started to dry her hair whilst opening the wardrobe to find something to wear for the day ahead. After choosing her favourite pant suit and green dress shirt Carol began to get ready. It was while putting on her bra that she felt it. In her right breast was a lump. Her mind began developing possibilities for how the lump got there. It didn't take long for her to reach the one possibility no-one wants to think of…cancer.

"Oh my god please let it be nothing"

Before she had the chance to ponder the possibilities her mobile phone rang. It was Kevin.

"Guv, we've a shooting down at the industrial site, two dead"

"I'm on my way"

By the time she reached the scene the press were everywhere.

"So much for keeping things out of the press"

Getting out of the car Carol walked to where Kevin was waiting.

"Show me what we have Kevin"

"Graeme Neatrie and Belinda Moore, both shot and killed sometime this morning, Dr Vernon is calling it now"

The pair walked over to where the medical examiner crouched.

"Good morning Carol, such a pity to start such a beautiful day with death"

"Morning doc, what can you tell me?"

Vernon stood and turned towards Carol "I'd estimate the time of death to around 3 this morning for both of them, I'd assume from the gun shot wounds but I won't know for sure until I do the autopsies' and for that I need to get them back to the morgue".

Later that day alone in her office Carol had a chance to contemplate her morning discovery. Her grandmother had died from breast cancer not long after Carol's 5th birthday, it was not a time that 

Carol wanted to remember. Picking up the phone Carol dialled her friend Rachael, a doctor working in Bradfield.

"Hi Rach… its Carol, sorry to call so early but I need to ask you something… it's probably nothing but… well…I found a lump in my breast this morning, I'm sure its nothing but…"

Ten minutes after ending her call to Rachael Carol's office door opened and in walked Tony Hill. Seeing the look on her face Tony knew that something was troubling Carol.

"Carol what's wrong?"

"What? Oh nothing Tony I'm fine… just been a long morning is all"

"Carol…"

Carol stood and walked around her desk, staring into Tony's eyes

"It's ok Tony, I'm ok... just tired. Now what are you doing here?"

"I heard about the shootings on the news, I don't have any classes or patients to see today so I thought I would come here and see if you need a hand"

Before she had a chance to respond Kevin burst through the office door without knocking.

"Guv, they've just brought in a suspect for the shootings"

"What… we haven't gotten any details back from Vernon yet, how can we already have someone in custody?"

"Apparently he was trying to break into a flat a few blocks away from the scene, he's covered in the victims blood"

"That's great… you can handle the interrogation and book him"

With that Kevin left the room, leaving Tony and Carol once again alone.

"Looks like you didn't need my help after all…"

Carol didn't respond, and it was from that, that he knew something was wrong with his friend.

"Look Carol how about we go get some lunch, my treat?"

Carol glanced at the clock behind Tony's head seeing that her appointment with Rachael was in just over 30minutes.

"Um… sure Tony, I have something I need to do first but how about I give you a call when I'm done and we have lunch, catch up… we haven't caught up for a while".

"Sure Carol… give me a call when you're ready, I'll be at my office" with that Tony exited the office. Ten minutes later Carol also left to find out what was really going on with her health.

Her appointment over with, Carol strolled towards the café in which she was meeting Tony for lunch. There were still butterflies fluttering through her stomach, while she had tried, Rachael was not able to offer much in terms of quashing Carol's fears… she had tried of course, but without the test results everything was still up in the air. Carol entered the café and saw Tony sitting at a table towards the back.

"Hey… sorry I'm late, have you ordered?"

"Hey not a problem… no I haven't ordered yet, thought I'd wait for you"

They discussed meaningless things while eating their meals. Tony thought that now would be a good time to find out what was going on with Carol.

"So do you want to talk about whatever it is that's bothering you?"

For a brief second surprised crossed Carol's face, but she quickly replaced it with a look of confusion.

"I don't know what you're talking about Tony… I told you this morning, it's just been a long morning"

"Carol… I know something is wrong, please talk to me, maybe I can help, I am a trained psychologist after all"

"Look Tony…" before she had a chance to explain she saw Rachael walking into the café heading towards their table.

"Rachael hi… what's going on?"

Tony had met Rachael before. The first time was when he showed up unannounced at Carol's apartment in the middle of the night.

"Hi guys, sorry to show up unannounced but Carol I just received a call about what we discussed this morning" Rachael darted her eyes to Tony before continuing further…"Do you want to go outside and discuss this, or should I just explain everything here?"

Carol knew that Tony wouldn't drop the issue now that he knew something was definitely going on, even though the topic matter was not something she would usually discuss with him. "No Rach its okay, he's going to keep asking questions until I tell him, you might as well tell us both now".

Carol shifted to the seat next to Tony so that Rachael could sit and look at them both. "Ok let me explain everything from the beginning for you Tony, this morning Carol called me when she found a suspicious lump in her breast, we did some scans which I sent to a specialist friend who rang me not long ago. Carol from what he's seen on the scans we did this morning, he believes that the area is suspicious and has said that we should examine the area further. I think it would be beneficial for us to perform an ultra-sound of sorts on the area that will show us if the lump is a solid or fluid mass".

Carol could see that Rachael was speaking, but as soon as she said the words 'suspicious mass' everything else became a blur. Tony had grasped her wrist in a show of support. Carol was suddenly very grateful that he was there.

Seeing that Carol couldn't talk Tony asked the inevitable question. "So what do we do now?"

"Well I need Carol to come back in and have a few more tests done as soon as possible… are you available this afternoon Carol?"

Shaking her head in hopes that it would help her focus, "Uh sure I can figure something out so that I can come in". Without taking his hand from her arm Tony looked Carol in the eyes "I'm coming with you Carol".

Not able to argue Carol looked down at her hands… she felt as if she was going through the spin cycle of a washing machine. The three sat there in silence, there wasn't anything that could be said to ease the tension in the air. Could this really be happening? It had only been a short time since Tony had gone through his own medical scare. Could they get through this one together as well?

Glancing at her watch Rachael stood from the table "I've got to get back sorry, I'll organise to get you in for the scans later today Carol". Rachael looked at her friends pale face, in the years that she had known Carol Jordan she had never seen her afraid of anything. "It will be ok Car, we'll do the scans and find out what we're dealing with, and then we can sort out where to go from there". Hugging her friend Rachael left the café leaving the couple alone.

"Why didn't you tell me Carol?" Tony gently turned Carol's face so that he good look at her. He could see the fear in her eyes, knowing about her family history with the disease. Carol grabbed Tony's hand pulling him up from the table; leaving money for their meals she dragged him out of the café.

"Carol?"

She continued to pull him behind her through the crowd on the footpath, all the while not telling him where they were going. It didn't take long before they reached his apartment. He unlocked the door and followed Carol inside. She led them into the lounge sitting down on Tony's overstuffed sofa.

"Carol, talk to me… what's going on?"

"I…I don't know what's going on Tony, I woke up this morning and everything was fine, but then… I was getting dressed and that's when I…it was just there and I found it and then Kevin called and I panicked and didn't know what to do. When you came to the office this morning I had just gotten off the phone from Rachael, I didn't want to say anything because I thought it was probably nothing. I'm sorry I should have said something".

Tony wrapped his arm around Carol pulling her into the warmth of his body. "It's going to be ok Carol, Rachael will do whatever tests she has to and we'll go from there". The couple stayed like that for a while, they didn't speak, just enjoyed being in each others presence.

The serenity was broken by the buzzing of Carol's phone. "Carol Jordan"

"Guv, it's Kevin, I just wanted to inform you that the man we had in custody for the shootings has been booked, he's due for court tomorrow morning".

"Thanks Kev, good work".

Carol pulled back from Tony slightly, his arm dropping from her shoulders to rest around her waist.

"I suppose I should head back to the office".

"Just call Kevin back and tell him something has come up, and then we can stay here until you have your appointment this afternoon".

"Tony I'm a cop, I can't just play hooky"

Tony just looked at her with a twinkle in his eye. She'd seen it before and it always made her shiver.

"Tony I can't… stop looking at me like that…Tony…alright fine".

With the call made the couple sat back against the couch and enjoyed each others company. Even though they had been together for six months it was rare that they had the chance to enjoy each others company without an open case plaguing their minds. It wasn't long before they had to leave to make Carol's appointment, they walked into the Dr's office together, it appeared as if they were the only people there. They had only been sitting for ten minutes when Rachael came out to get them, beside her stood another doctor.

"Carol, Tony this is Dr Michelle Greenway, she's going to perform the first scan which will tell us if the mass is solid or fluid. If you want to go change into the gown Carol we can get started".

Soon Carol was lying on the examining table; Tony was at her side the epitome of support. The Dr entered the room and lathered some electrolysis gel onto Carol's chest "Ok Carol I'm going to begin now. We're looking at how opaque to lump appears on the scan". Carol breathed deeply while the Dr carried out the scan. Turning her head she looked at the screen behind her. In the centre of the image appeared a shadow "That shadow there, is that the lump?" Printing off pictures of the scan the doctor put down the wand.

"Yes the shadow you're seeing here is the lump. The scan shows that the lump is in fact a solid mass of cells; I think it's important for us to take what is called a core biopsy, where we insert a needle into the lump and take a sample of tissue. This will tell us whether or not the cells are cancerous. We can do the biopsy now while you're here. I'll have Rachael administer the anaesthetic to numb the area so you won't feel anything while we take the biopsy. Once we have the sample I'll send it off to the lab and we'll hopefully have the results quickly".

It was only after Tony and Carol had made it back to his home that Carol allowed herself to break. He had found her curled on the bed shaking. Crawling on the bed Tony pulled Carol into the cocoon of his body. "I'm here Carol, no matter what they find, I'm here".


	2. Chapter 2

Carol didn't venture out from the bedroom that night, instead Tony ordered delivery and they ate together on the bed. It was in moments like these that Carol realised just how much she relied on Tony, and how much pleasure she gained from being in his company. She didn't doubt that it was similar for him. He seemed to come alive when they were alone together, it was as if his walls came down and he was free. Both put the others feelings ahead of the anything else. Even now lying in the cocoon of his arms in his bed Carol knew that he held her a little bit closer and that he was sleeping a little bit lighter than what he normally would. She on the other hand, couldn't get to sleep at all…She sighed into the darkness; sleep was obviously not going to capture her tonight. She pushed back the covers and shuffled quietly down the stares to the lounge. She did not want to disturb Tony any further. Sitting there in the dark her mind would not stop racing, coming up with lists of things that she thought she'd never get to do if this turned out to be cancer. The biggest of course being children. They had discussed it before, though jokingly at the time, both feared that their lives were too hectic, too dangerous to bring another life into the mix. However both longed for that missing piece. Carol was unsure as to how long she had been sitting in the dark when Tony walked up behind her.

"Hey" Carol looked up and saw Tony standing there.

"Hey, sorry I didn't mean to wake you"

Tony sat next to her on the couch "What's going on?"

"Nothing, I'm ok… you should go back to bed no point in both of us losing sleep"

Tony wrapped his arm around Carol bringing her closer into his body. "You know there's nothing wrong with being scared of this Carol"

"I know Tony and I am scared of this, scared of the thought that this might be real. There's just so much I want…" Tony cut her off.

"Shhh… don't think like that, we don't know what this is yet. For all we know it's something simple and harmless". They sat there together, huddled on the couch letting time tick by. After a while Tony stood and reached his hand out towards Carol.

"Come on, we're going back to bed"

Once again in the comfort of his arms Carol remembered what it was like the first time she lay in this bed. Their first time together was not planned. It was frenzied and passionate but it encompassed every feeling that they had for each other. It has started as a typical night for them. Carol had brought over a case that she wanted Tony's input on. After working on it for hours Carol headed for the door. Before leaving she impulsively leant forward placing a kiss on Tony's mouth. He was shocked and didn't say anything. As she turned to leave he had grasped her arm pulling her back to face him and he kissed her. He let go and he kissed her. And later as they lay together in this bed their passion sated he looked at her, and in his eyes she saw a love that she had never seen before.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Carol awoke to see Tony looking down at her "Good morning".

He leant down and kissed her, she kissed him back with force. Soon they were in a lovers embrace, their sighs penetrating the silence around them. Afterwards as the attempted to catch their breath she looked at him and smiled "It is definitely a good morning" and with that her laughter filled the room.

He loved her laugh; it wasn't often that they were in a situation which allowed her the freedom to show joy; their lines of work often placing them in the deepest recesses of horror and degradation. Tony looked at Carol; he stared into her hazel eyes and fell for her just that little bit more. She stretched under the sheets, settling back down with a sigh "I guess I should get up and get ready for work". She looked at him and saw that he was staring at her still. She leant over and placed a quick kiss on his lips before getting out of the bed and walking towards the bathroom. She turned back to look at him lying alone tangled in the blood red sheets "coming?"

Tony picked Carol up from the station that day. When they arrived at her flat Rachael was there.

"Rach hi… what are you doing here? I thought you were going to call when you got the results"

"Hi guys, yeah I was but I decided I wanted to give them to you in person, there's no easy way to say this Carol but the results have shown that the lump is in fact cancerous. From what we can see it appears to still be in early stages so with treatment there's no reason why you can't knock this out. I've made appointments for you with Dr Greenway for tomorrow morning".

If Tony hadn't been there Carol would have crumbled. No tears fell from Carol, instead she was unnervingly quiet. Rachael didn't stay long, preferring to leave the couple alone to process the news that they received. They sat on the couch, neither speaking, neither knowing what the right thing to say was. Up until this moment they had both been able to pretend that nothing was wrong, that there was nothing to worry about. Now, their bubble of blissful ignorance had been burst and they were currently drowning on the foam.

It was Tony who spoke first. "You know this isn't necessarily all bad news Carol, Rachael said that you've caught it early and we'll get more information tomorrow from Dr Greenway. For now though, you need to stay positive, there's no point worrying yourself and coming up with worst case scenarios when we don't have all the facts". He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto his lap. Tony wasn't sure if the hug was to comfort Carol or himself… either way it made him feel better. It was only when her breathing became heavy that Tony realised Carol had fallen asleep in his arms.

The shrill ring of Carol's alarm woke the couple only a few hours later. Reaching out a slender arm Carol mumbled as she battered it into silence. Pushing back the covers Carol went to the bathroom and turned on the shower to heat up the room. Walking back into the bedroom Carol saw Tony sitting up in the bed with a confused look on his face.

Tony stood up and guided Carol to the bathroom closing the door behind them. Twenty minutes later that both exited the room in a billow of steam. Silence filtered through the apartment as they pulled on their clothes. He headed to the kitchen to make coffee while Carol finished getting ready. Before long they were driving down the freeway to the hospital.

The medical room was the same as any other; stark grey surroundings, so cold that it sent a shiver down Carol's body. Dr Greenway entered the office. "Good morning, sorry to keep you waiting"

Carol stood when she saw the woman enter the room "That's fine, I'd say it's good to see you doctor but…well you know". The three entered the office towards to back of the medical clinic, Tony pulling his chair closer towards Carol's.

"So Carol I've had a closer look at the scans we took the other day and this morning and I can tell you that this is definitely breast cancer. It's very aggressive and I recommend that we start you on treatments as soon as possible".

"Will I have to have an operation?"

"Yes… what we'll most likely perform is a lumpectomy; we'll go in and remove the cancerous cell leaving behind the tissue not damaged. After that my suggestion would be to start you on aggressive form chemotherapy, it will knock out any of the remaining affected cells giving you a better chance at coming through this and leading a perfectly healthy life. Carol you have a very good chance of getting through this."

Tony reached across the arm of the chair and placed his hand over Carol's. "When do you start?"

"As soon as possible, I can make some call and most likely have you booked in for tomorrow, at the latest the end of the week".

Carol looked up for the first time, "What do I have to do?"

"Just come back here on the morning of the surgery, we'll organise everything then. You will get through this Carol".

After signing forms at the desk Tony led Carol back to the car. His hand remained at the small of her back as he guided her to drivers' door; turning her gently Tony trapped Carol between the car and himself. Leaning forward he placed a kiss gently onto Carol's mouth. "It's going to be ok Carol, we'll get through this together". With that he opened the door for her and went to the passenger side. Once again they were driving down the highway. Tony observed Carol out of the corner of his eye, he knew that the road ahead was going to be long for them both, but he was prepared to stand by Carol no matter what happened.


End file.
